Gotta Love Those Alpha Males

About a week ago, my hubby did one of his alpha male things.

Scenario: Doorbell rings and off I go to answer. He asks “Who is it?” I reply, “I don’t know. Some dude.”

The dude in question turns out to be one of our neighbors (who I’m ashamed to say I didn’t recognize) letting us know the lights were flashing on my car. Afterwards, my hubby does his alpha thing: “Don’t answer the door to a strange man if I’m not here.” I kind of chuckle and say that’s not really feasible.

Though in my mind I’m picturing going to the door in the future only to be greeted by some crazy guy, and realize that now I’ll probably be hesitate to answer the door for some dude.

This exchange, simple as it was, got me to thinking about independent women and alpha men. I love it when my hubby shows several of his I am man characteristics. I get a thrill when he shows strength. I’m impressed when he does “manly” stuff—seriously, I fell in love the day he changed the alternator on my car. But when his alpha tendencies lean toward giving me direction/advice, even when I know it’s because he’s trying to look out for me, I tend to laugh it off and sometimes ignore. Case in point: I still let the gas light come on my car after he gave a lecture on all the reasons not to do it.

Why do I do this? The same reason the heroines in romance novels ignore it when the hero says “wait right here” women today are raised to be strong, independent, and not to take orders from a man.  We figure we know how to take care of ourselves, and even when the men we love try to give advice, that independent woman nerve jumps up and we’re like “Okay, babe, I won’t let my car get past a half a tank.” All while the gas light is flashing.

And, if by some chance the alpha man in our life is right, it’s all good. He’ll be the first one to run to the rescue when we need a bit of help.

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Don’t Grow Old Alone

The fun thing about getting to know a new person, is the possibility that they’ll say something you never expected. Usually, people don’t expect me to say that I write romance novels. And after two years of working hard at this, I’m no longer shy about letting that part of my personality out. Well, the other day I was talking to a male security guard and he said something unexpected.  After I dropped the writer bomb, our conversation went to life and relationships (not surprising), where he admitted to not being the best relationship guy when he was younger. That changed when he met his wife.

Cue the swoon of this romance writer’s heart. Isn’t this what we write about? Reformed rakes and players who give up playing the game? But that wasn’t the unexpected comment. I wasn’t expecting him to say that when his son’s ask for relationship advice tells them to not grow old alone and find a woman that they want to make feel special, secure and safe.

I’d never heard a guy say this before.

Comedians turned relationship experts, and the male bloggers out there dishing out relationship advice do not count.

This was regular guy that isn’t sitting on some sort of platform say something so simple but full of meaning. You know, as a romance writer I like to think that there are still good men out there who are raising other good men. Real life proof that romance novels aren’t full of crap and fantasies.

Do I think that this guy’s sons are perfect romance novel heroes? I don’t know them so I can’t answer. But do I think that these guys have a good chance of being what we write about, a guy willing to give up other women to make one special woman feel special, safe, and secure. Yes.

So, maybe I’m silly for being excited to hear this regular guy say this to me. But it did strike me that it was the first guy who wasn’t my husband say something like this. Proof that some men do want long term relationships. That’s worth highlighting.

When was the last time a surprising conversation?

Sex is Not Just for the Bedroom

As soon as I saw that title I knew I was going to enjoy my guest’s post! I’m standing aside and letting one of my favorite authors, Delaney Diamond, introduce a fun topic today. Enjoy!

***

Every now and again I post sex health questions on my Facebook fan page. They’re true or false, multiple choice, etc., and I ask my fans to answer the questions to test their own IQ. One day I asked what was the second most popular place to have sex after a bed, and the correct answer was a car.

When I’m reading a romance novel, I always find it interesting when the author can come up with a new place for the couple to have sex. Let’s face it, after so many books, it can be hard as heck to be creative with the sex, but one way to do it is by changing up the location.

It shakes things up and adds a certain uniqueness, even an urgency, to the act. It’s as if the two people involved can’t wait long enough to get to a bedroom. Forget comfort, they need each other now.

I personally like mixing it up in that way. In Private Acts , Book 3 of the Hot Latin Men series, Miguel and Samirah got busy on top of a car in a parking lot. Fight for Love, Book 2 of the same series, the kitchen floor made due when Rafael and Rebekah reconnected after 9 years apart.

In my latest novel, The Blind Date, Ryan and Shawna have a strong connection right off the bat that carries throughout the novel. They make love outside of the bedroom several times. There’s the living room floor, against the wall in an alley, and the bathroom stall of a corporate function. Those scenes were not only sexy, they were fun to write.

I know my hostess had a very hot scene that took place on top of a desk in her novel You Can’t Plan Love. I remember it well. Heh-heh.

Can you think of any other novels you’ve read where the hero and heroine made love outside of the bedroom? Authors, do you have a sexy scene you’d like to tell us about from one of your books?

Cover_The Blind Date_200X300Blurb:

One night changes everything . . . again.

Years ago, when Ryan Stewart saw Shawna Ferguson, it was love at first sight. Unfortunately, he wasn’t a free man, and his deception caused him to lose her after a weekend that changed his life.

When Shawna’s sister and brother-in-law set her up on a blind date, she has no idea it’s with Ryan, with whom she’d spent a weekend she wishes she could forget. She reluctantly agrees to finish the date with him, but doing so leaves her vulnerable to his charms and the heat he ignited in her that very first night.

 

 

Excerpt:

She’d never forgotten the two torrid nights they’d spent together where the intimacies they shared had left her breathless and exhausted in his arms. Every caress of his lips and touch of his rough, work-worn hands was seared into her brain. And she could never, ever forget what it felt like to have the dark stubble shadowing his jaw graze the sensitive spot on her neck—or the skin of her inner thigh.

Her knees weakened at the thought.

A corner of his lips did a slow slant upward, and Shawna tore her eyes away from the invitation in them to stare into a pair of amazing blue eyes that rooted her in place.

“Hello, Shawna.” The mellow sound of his voice greeted her as he approached. He exuded a confidence and casual virility not present during their first introduction. Back then, he’d been a little less sure of himself, though very charming.

The sound of her name on his tongue sent a tremor through every cell of her body. “Ryan.” She whispered his name in disbelief because his name wasn’t Roger James, and he wasn’t a stranger. She’d hoped never to set eyes on this man again.

“It’s good to see you, love.”

Shocked out of her reverie by the affectionate word, rage erupted inside of Shawna. She hadn’t seen him since that day in Chicago when her heart had shattered into a thousand pieces. She did what she hadn’t been able to do back then.

She hauled back and slapped him.

 

Get it now for FREE until October 7, 2013: Amazon

Contest information:

Not only is Delaney Diamond giving away a free copy of her book, she’s having a contest!

Prize: Winners choice of four (4) of the following items: (1) Delaney Diamond T-shirt in large or extra large (2) Delaney Diamond two-tone tote bag (3) $20 gift card to Amazon or Barnes & Noble (4) Delaney Diamond keychain (5) an autographed copy of Hot Latin Men Vol. I (6) an autographed copy of Hot Latin Men Vol. II (7) four bookmarks with Delaney Diamond book covers.

Eligibility: You must be a subscriber to Delaney’s blog. Prizes open to U.S. and international entrants.

How to enter: Correctly match each blog on her tour with its description. Visit the contest post on her website for the details.

Deadline to enter: October 13, 2013 at 11:59 pm EST

Winners will be notified by email and announced on the contest post on her website.

Bio:

Delaney Diamond writes sweet and sensual romance novels and is the site manager of Romance Novels in Color, where diversity in romance in celebrated. When she’s not reading or writing she’s trying out new recipes or traveling to an interesting locale. Find free reads and the first chapter of all her books at www.delaneydiamond.com.

 

Contact Information:

Website: www.delaneydiamond.com

Facebook fan page: www.facebook.com/DelaneyDiamond

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DelaneyDiamond

Romance Novels in Color: www.romancenovelsincolor.com

Betrayal…It’s a Bitch

Blue HeartsSometimes in life a person you trust or care about may disappoint you. They may go so far as to outright betray your trust. I recently had a conversation with someone who was betrayed by their best friend. They trusted this person and allowed them into their home, only to have the friend try to sleep with their significant other. To top it off, instead of apologizing, the “friend” insulted them once the betrayal was discovered.

Needless to say these two aren’t friends anymore. I’ve been fortunate with my friends. They’ve all been supportive of me and my relationships. No one has ever betrayed me in this way, at least I don’t know of it. But I have been on that other side. I’m not proud of it, but I did betray a friend once. I was in high school and blame it on the young, dumb, and think I know everything mentality. Still, I regret what I did and I never want to hurt a friend like again.

I guess that’s why I write stories with an element of recovering from betrayal or loss of trust. I’ve lived it, and so many people around me have too. I like to show both sides of a story. Not to justify it, but just shed light that sometimes there’s more to a breaking of trust than meets the eye. It’s one of the reasons I like Shayla from A Heart to Heal so much. At the first glance she seems like a big ole mess, but upon further inspection, you see that she’s got major issues she’s trying to overcome.

Which brings me to my question, do you like stories of healing after a betrayal?

If Romance is Smut It’s All Smut

sex symbolsSo the other day another romance author admonished ABC News via Twitter for the headline they placed on an article. The title: Emerging ‘New Adult’ Book Genre Puts Smut Fiction on Bestseller Lists. Although I re-tweeted in support, I got to thinking. (Never a good thing)

If romance novels are smut, then we really need to call out all the other smutty outlets filling our minds with filth!

I mean, when you consider it, smut is EVERYWHERE!

Soap operas: Because really, there’s a lot of hooking up and sexing going on.

Night time dramas: Yep, Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal are big culprits. Every time Fitz and Liv get it on in a closet is just filthy (in all honesty the follow up to that scene was wrong)

Sit Coms…sorry, you’re smutty too. Time to stop loving episodes where Penny and Leonard end up in bed. Gah, did we really subject ourselves to the filth that was hoping Eliot and J.D. would finally hook up on Scrubs? Read more of this post

Does Your Husband Know You’re Having Lunch with Him?

Recently, I met a friend from high school for coffee. I hadn’t seen this friend in a few years, and although we connected over Facebook every so often, that’s not the same as seeing them in person and catching up on what’s happening in our lives. Well, when I mentioned to a girlfriend that I had coffee with an old friend, her immediate question was: “Man or woman?”

I laughed and said it was a man. Got an immediate, “Now, Synithia.” (FYI; this is the friend I rely on to tell me when I’m wrong). I interrupted her forthcoming you know better than to do that speech by letting her know this male friend is also a homosexual. After that explanation she was okay, and we went on to talk about other things.

Her ready reprimand got me to thinking about old friends and new relationships. More specifically, if it is ever okay to have lunch or coffee with a friend of the opposite sex when you’re in a relationship. I asked this question of my informal focus group (i.e. friends and family) at our New Year’s gathering. It was funny, but another married couple had just encountered a similar situation, except theirs was a little touchier than mine. Read more of this post

Why I’m Not Mad at The General

As a married woman I should be full of righteous indignation about General Petraeus’ affair. I should applaud the resignation, the loss of his pension and the embarrassment that comes with his infidelity. I should send a note of sisterly affection to the wife, telling her to keep her head up and that she’s better off without him.

Yeah…not quite.

Again, I wonder if I’m just too cynical but while I’m fascinated and completely into the “scandal” of the affair. I’m not pissed. Number one: he’s not personally connected to me and therefore not worth any of my anger. Number two: that ish happens every day. Read more of this post

If it Prevents a Broken Heart, Don’t Hate

I recently read a blog post blasting men for giving relationship advice. Mainly because the men giving this advice used to be straight up hoes and blamed women for their problems. Now I haven’t read the relationship books these men put out and I don’t check their blogs to see what pearls of wisdom they give, but I’m also not pissed at them for doing what they do. Why? Because a lot of times they’re right.

Yes, women, we can’t throw off all the blame for our own broken hearts and humiliation. A man will only do to you what you let him. Old saying but the meaning is no less true.

I’m not hating on these men for giving advice that is pretty much common sense. Hell, I’ll even admit that seventeen year old Synithia needed to hear this common sense advice from a man. Why get mad at a man who admits he used to screw anything with two legs and breasts telling you how he did it? He’s telling us how friggin easy we made it for him to live the male whore’s dream. Read more of this post

The Office Romance: To Have or Have Not?

I’m kinda partial to office romances. It may be because I met my husband at work and seven eight years later we’re still going strong. So it’s no surprise that I made an office romance something central to my first novel. But, with office romances comes the possibility that things can go terribly wrong. Even in my case, my hubby (boyfriend at the time) had a messy break up while still working together that luckily turned into happily ever after instead of what the hell was I thinking.

About a week ago I came across an article that gave tips to having an office romance. It had some very good advice such as being discreet, protect your reputation and don’t ask for special treatment. These were all rules that Kenyatta and Malcolm tried to follow in my novel. Malcolm really wanted to protect Kenyatta’s reputation because history taught him how easily an office affair can damage a person’s good name. He also didn’t want it to seem as if he was giving Kenyatta special treatment because of his attraction to her. Read more of this post

The Three Trips All Relationships Need

Last weekend my husband left me. Yep, packed a bag, got into a van with not one, but twelve other dudes and drove into the night. I didn’t freak out though. He went to New Orleans for his annual man trip. While I did miss him terribly, I was also looking forward to him going. Even though I would be home with our two boys, once they go to bed it mommy’s quiet time with a book and no one to interrupt. Ahh, life’s simple pleasures.

Anyway, it occurred to me that some women–the insecure in my opinion–would be upset about their man leaving them for a weekend. I don’t understand that mentality. In fact, I believe the man trip is one of the three necessary trips every relationship needs. Read more of this post

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