You’re Mad At Him Because?

Often women get mad when they find out their man isn’t giving them what they want or expect. A good many of these women never vocalized what they wanted from their man, never asked for and certainly never demanded the respect that they deserve. If a woman doesn’t make it clear what she will and will not tolerate, she’s setting herself up for failure.

I’m the first to admit that I was the queen of this. I would get with a guy, assume that he would fall in love with me and treat me like a queen, only to get mad when he was a jerk. One day I realized that the guys who hurt me were being themselves. I was the one accepting what they dished out and selling myself short. You see, when it comes to relationships you can’t take anything for granted. If you just met a guy and go out on a few dates, don’t assume that he’s monogamous. If it turns out that he isn’t you’ll be the one crying and hating him while he’ll continue to sleep with everyone in the free world. When you assume you make an ass of yourself. Just because your stuff is good, and readily available, doesn’t mean he’s not going to want to continue sampling what’s out there.

It’s time to take some of the responsibility for our broken hearts. Not in every case mind you, there are some truly bad men. But in general, men will treat you like you let them. And let’s face it, men are like kids. They need a lot of attention. As soon as your attention slips, they’ll try to find a way regain it. If you keep pushing them away, or ignoring them, eventually they’ll act out. Some will pout and act like a giant ass, others will go to the extreme and actually cheat. Having said that, you can still be the most devoted girlfriend, spouse, or jump off and your man may still break your heart. Before you go slash his tires, make sure you didn’t ignore the signs that he was no good from the start. Take these thoughts into consideration before getting mad and putting all the blame for a broken heart on the guy.

  1. Did he already have kids that he wasn’t taking care of? Or did he lack motivation, a job or basic respect for others? Then why are you surprised that he’s not coming around after you had a child with him?
  2. Has he ever slept with another man? Felt attracted to another man? Ever been in the locker room and felt warm and tingly looking at his teammates? I asked my husband this at the start of our relationship. That way, if the ish hit the fan he couldn’t say “You didn’t ask.”
  3. Is he seeing other people? If he doesn’t want to make your relationship exclusive ask yourself if you can really deal with that. This isn’t the time to act modern and hard and I’m gonna live my life like a man. If you really can’t deal with that then bail. Otherwise don’t cry on my shoulder when he’s sleeping with your coworker.
  4. If you’re married, ask if he’s still happy. If not find out why. This is a hard conversation, but it’s necessary. Unhappy people can make rash decisions. It’s better to get your feelings hurt now by finding out what he’s lacking in the relationship and decide if you can work it out together. Now if he’s just upset because you’re not giving bj’s first thing every morning, tell him to stop watching porn and check back into reality.
  5. Does he still love you? Probably the hardest question you’ll ever ask, but it’s worth it to check in on this every once and awhile.

 If you fail to take some responsibility in how your man treats you, whether it’s allowing him to treat you like dirt, putting up with his lack of caring, or enabling his self-destructive habits then my response when things aren’t going right will be: “And you’re mad at him because…”

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About Synithia W
I write love stories filled with passion and drama at night, I improve air and water quality during the day, and I love my husband and kids in between.

3 Responses to You’re Mad At Him Because?

  1. Stefanie says:

    All very true. Sometimes it takes a few relationships under your belt before you fully recognize this.

  2. kay1belle says:

    Im definitely about to repost this one! Great advice never ASSUME anything..

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