No Time For Regrets

A family member of mine passed away this week, and while we were not particularly close, her passing really got to me. But this blog post isn’t to bring everyone down or seek sympathy. The loss of a loved one rekindled a thought I had last week about regrets. Mainly regrets in relationships, or attempts at relationships. Most people have that one moment, person or thing that they look back upon with either fondness or regret. The passing of my family member reiterated for me that life is too short for regrets. Instead, you have to seize opportunities when they arise, and if you’re happy with your life, as I am, then there’s no need to regret missed opportunities.

Take for instance the idea of your first love. For some it works out and they spend the rest of their life with their first love. In my case, I couldn’t imagine being in a long-term relationship with anyone from my past. Not all for bad reasons, just that I’m more compatible with my husband than I ever was with anyone from my past. That doesn’t mean that I don’t look back on the good relationships with fondness (o.k. the one good relationship) but I don’t wish for any of that young love back. Young love gives you a rush and is exciting, but it can also be reckless. Maybe I’ve gotten too pessimistic, but I prefer mature relationships with a bit of common sense. Albeit, me and my hubby didn’t start with all that, but –God forbid—if I had to start over I would definitely use my brain a lot more.

Then there’s the person or moment that got away. One of my moments involved a Valentine ’s Day massage and gazing into each other’s eyes, but nothing more. Not a kiss, hug, nothing. I used to call that my shoulda, woulda, coulda moment, but not anymore. Following through on that moment would have been another mistake of my teenage years. I also used to harbor regrets about not giving my number to a nice guy who asked for it after seeing me sweating and shiny after a night of waiting tables. Why you ask, because I was loyal to my then boyfriend, who had moved to Maryland. Yeah, I can admit that was stupid—two minutes after the guy left I thought it was stupid, but is it regretful now? No. You see everything that has happened in my relationship life has happened for a reason, as I stated in an earlier post. You see I met my husband after getting over the previously discussed ex-boyfriend. That relationship taught me that I was worth being with someone who truly wanted me and taking those lessons, I was able to truly appreciate it when my husband stepped up and showed me that he really wanted me. So why regret not giving some random guy my phone number?

My advice to those with regrets—for whatever its worth—is take stock of why you regret: that person, moment, or time in your life? Was it because you didn’t know better? Well guess what, now you know better and you can make a better decision in the future. Was it because you truly cared for that person? Well, did that person really care for you…really? Or are you just holding on to what could have been. If that person really cared, then maybe they would have tried to make it work, or maybe that wasn’t your moment in time for things to work out. If it’s meant to be then it will. I know that is cliché, but it is true. You hear the stories (one I heard recently) of people getting together years after being separated. If you’re impatient, yeah that sucks and I don’t have any advice for gaining patience. Life is too short for regrets. One day you’re happy with your family, the next day you’re gone. It’s a downer, but it’s the truth. Live life to the fullest, don’t regret past mistakes, and if you’re happy with your life now, embrace that! So many people are unhappy. Savor the blessing of being a person that is happy with their life.

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About Synithia W
I write love stories filled with passion and drama at night, I improve air and water quality during the day, and I love my husband and kids in between.

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