Real Men Don’t Whine

Last week, while having lunch with two female colleagues, I noticed that our conversation kept coming back to the tendency for men we work with to whine. I don’t know when it started, or why, but lately a lot of the men I meet are content to whine about things not going the way they want, and have excuses as to why they can’t change their situation. If there is one thing I can’t stand, is a person who complains and makes no effort to improve their situation. Occasional venting is one thing, we all need to blow off steam, but I have zero tolerance for whiners.

A man who whines is a complete turnoff. I want to slap him and yell “Hey, you’re a dude!” The world doesn’t owe you a favor, and you’re damn sure not going to get anywhere sitting with your lip poked out whining about why things didn’t go your way. Maybe if you showed some effort, initiative, interest or a sign of life, you might have gotten what you wanted. Instead, you sit around like a lump on a log and expect people to bend over backwards to make your life better. Well guess what, this ain’t Hollywood and you ain’t a star; no one is going to give you preferential treatment just because you’re a man.

I could go on forever about how whining men are as attractive as kissing a troll with a cold sore, but I won’t. Instead I will list my ideas of what a real man is.

  1. A real man may get knocked down by the world, but he doesn’t let that define him. He dusts himself off, evaluates the situation and makes necessary changes.
  2. A real man can change the oil in my car, along with the tires, alternator and everything else that may go wrong.
  3. A real man should make you feel safe.
  4. A real man can install a ceiling fan, put down hard wood floors, paint a room, and build a deck on the house that won’t fall down.
  5. A real man cuts his own grass. Unless you’re hurt, work all the time, or are out-of-town, a man doesn’t pay another man to cut his grass.
  6. A real man takes care of his wife and kids.
  7. A real man isn’t afraid to cry and knows the time and place for it. (Openly weeping on a train while reading Water for Elephants is not the time or place.)
  8. A real man can hold an intelligent conversation with all types of people. Rich, poor, black, white, everyone. Sounding ignorant to keep it real is just stupid.
  9. A real man can cook something other than frozen pizza.
  10. Finally, a man who can’t do 1-9, but is willing to try, or learn, is definitely a real man.

I’d love to hear if you agree, or disagree, with my list.


About Synithia W
I write love stories filled with passion and drama at night, I improve air and water quality during the day, and I love my husband and kids in between.

8 Responses to Real Men Don’t Whine

  1. nitadee says:

    Sensational post!

    #10 is EVERYTHING!

    I want effort the same way it’s expected of me. I was just writing/thinking about this–how too many folks are easin’ through life with these delusions of entitlement, wanting acknowledgment (or worse congratulations) for doing things they’re inherently expected to do (i.e. work hard so you can play hard; graduate HIGH SCHOOL–bump 8th grade and K5 thresholds; wear a condom or show up, shut up and parent; wear pants that fit IDK … because they fit; get and keep a job; #8 on your list).

    Girl, #2. As much as I pride myself on being able to change my own tires and brakes and oil if need be, I will not lie and tell you that I think it’s become a rare quality to find a man who is not only willing but capable of handling any one of those tasks.

    I don’t have a hard copy list, and I admittedly, consistently struggle with my contradictory views regarding gender roles, but a man who will call AAA as a last resort, who orders Coke and not Diet Coke, who doesn’t engage in the kind of persnickety gossiping universally reserved for 11-year-old girls at a sleepover or blue-haired bingo-playing dames makes my heart skip a damn beat.

    • Synithia W says:

      I know I set Women’s Liberation back 50 years with some of my ideas, but I’m sorry. If a man can change my oil, why not let him. I don’t have to do it to prove something. Since I try not to be a whiner, it’s hard for me to listen to grown men whine and complain.

  2. J. Martin says:

    Literally, laughing out loud. Love it.

  3. Kim says:

    I love your post and totally enjoyed reading it. Most important I agree with you. This needs to be published and/or posted at work to enlighten your co-workers. :} Let’s continue to appreciate our real men while encouraging and educating the rest. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Pingback: I’m Sleeping with Somebody New « Synithia Williams

  5. onekoolmama says:

    Reblogged this on Random Thoughts By Nicole! and commented:
    Well written and so true-especially points 5, 7 and 10!

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